New Blog? Sorta.

So it’s been a long time, folks. Maybe a little too long. Unfortunately, as wonderful as Poets and Priests has been for me, I’m unable to sustain it’s more extensive posting regime. If you don’t believe me, look at the next most recent post next to this one. I lament my own neglect of my blog, then I promptly ignore it for over a year. Heh. So to save a little face I have made a switch over to Tumblr for an interim period as I go through a rather hectic time in my life.

It’s a shorter format, just a picture, a quote, and an original piece of my own compositions for each posting-group. It’s a new format, and I’ll see how it goes along the way. So have at it! And enjoy!

Eucharisto on Tumblr.

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A Brief Post for my Poor, Neglected Blog

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I know, I know. I’ve been MIA on this journal for a good while now, and I truly regret to say that, this post notwithstanding, the situation probably won’t change much in the foreseeable future. The upside of all of this is that instead of spending my time here writing long, existential posts, and navel-gazing about philosophical conundrums, I’m out in the world living as a productive member of society (and actually having a pretty good time of it, too).

To prove it, I’ve got this little profile set up of all my musical projects I’m doing while at Berklee. Little tidbits, cues, pieces, some finished, some unfinished, all very pertinent to my journey at Berklee. It’s partly my way of keeping myself accountable to foster my creativity in the midst of such a hectic and overwhelming lifestyle, but also because I like writing music, and sharing it! Kinda comes with the territory, I guess.

Anyway, if it catches your fancy, go listen to some of my tunes at Berklee. Hopefully it will suffice while this blog slowly descends into futility and obscurity (not really, just being dramatic for kicks).

Happy Summer, everyone!

EDIT: Everyone, this is my 150th post! Happy birthday, blog! : )

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This Made Me Laugh Out Loud

“He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart.”
- C.S. Lewis

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Salutations from Beantown

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Greetings, all you people in bloggerdom! I have returned from many months away, out in the wilds of the “real” world, pursuing conquests of bravery and skill, and come to you now, the victorious, great conqueror.

Well, actually, I’ve just been really busy with life, and haven’t been able to keep up here. Generally on this blog, whenever there’s a massive down time between posts, it usually means that I’m going through some spectacular transition in my life, and that definitely holds true for the last few months. Since my last post, I quit my job in Tennessee, moved back home, enjoyed Christmas with my family, moved to Boston, started school at Berklee College of Music, visited the Big Apple for the first time, took midterms, had spring break, visited Maine for the first time, enjoyed Easter here in Boston, and then, after all that, decided to write a blog post.

Berklee is my new life. I eat, breathe, and sleep music. I’m saturated in it, soaked through to the bone. It’s the first time in a long time that I’ve been so free to let myself enjoy something that feels so natural and exciting. Not to say that it isn’t a ton of work, because it is. But it’s good work, fulfilling work that’s moving toward something. I can feel my creativity growing, expanding; it’s like I’ve had so much I’ve wanted to “say” through my music, but it’s just now that I’m gaining a vocabulary of sorts to express those thoughts. 

I have also gained an amazing community. I live in a home with a bunch of other guys, who all come from different countries. I’ve been across the pond before, been to a few countries other than my own, so I have had a little taste of the multicultural soup; but living in a house with people from every corner of the world, seeing them day in and day out, is an entirely different experience. It’s given me such a new perspective, a different angle. And yet, even with those new experiences of interacting with different cultural understandings than my own, there is a camaraderie here, a common appreciation for our community, that all of us, guys from every continent and area of the world, have carved out in our little corner of Boston. It’s a good and simple thing, even while it expresses itself in complex ways day to day. 

It’s funny how we go through times in our lives that feel so real and present and full of struggle and pressure and frustration; and then, we find something so good and right to live in, that those former times in life become like passing dreams, vague impressions. Sometimes I feel like my whole life is a collection of impressions that I’m unable to completely keep intact as meaningful memories. It’s like one of those dreams where you want to reach out and touch something, but it’s always just beyond your grasp. That’s a little of how it feels when I recollect my time in TN; impressions of good friendships and meaningful experiences, but I can’t remember with any clarity the monotonous moments of slogging through the duties of life, which at the time, felt so real and intrusive in my life, only the good things.

Right now, in this moment, I’m trying to live in the good things around me, and not let the joy of what I have here pass through my grasp. I’m learning more each day to appreciate the goodness I have in my life. I’ve been feeling lately like my life is suddenly whizzing by so fast that I can’t stop it. It’s so odd, I can’t seem to live in whatever moment I am, because within seconds, my life is moving on. I can already see years ahead of me. When I was a kid, everything seemed to move in slow motion; time was incomprehensible to me, a massive mountain with no peak in sight. Now, suddenly, I can see everything, both past and future; time is something I can hold in my mind, and I can see forward to the end. I don’t like it. I liked much better the idea of living as a child, oblivious to the ephemeral nature of life, perhaps even subconsciously thinking I’d live on and on and on. Today, I’m only in my early 20′s, and yet, I feel as if all of my life is now, as if I were born yesterday, and will move on tomorrow. It’s so fleeting, and living in it, I sometimes feel like I’m oblivious to it’s movement, and then I’m 20, and then I’m 40, and then, and then…

I am making a vow now, to live in my life, and to intentionally be aware of it. It’s too short to live in some sort of subconscious comprehension. I want to experience everything there is to experience, know everything there is to know here, feel to the greatest extent possible, do whatever is humanly possible for me to do. It’s all happening now, and it all must happen now. Here at Berklee, life is just as much available for the taking as it was in Tennessee, or anywhere I’ve ever lived, and I don’t want to make excuses for letting weeks, months or years get away from me. I have such goodness here, and I want to take hold of it. 

This Easter, I was reminded again of the joy of the incarnation, God becoming man. That sense of becoming, of Jesus’ sacrifice, and His resurrection, that’s part of this incarnational part of life that I want to take hold of. Madeleine L’Engle calls it the chronos vs. the Kairos, linear motion in history, versus the true element of eternal life, in which we are already playing a part. Every time we submit to goodness or beauty or truth, we’re living in the kairos, we’re living an incarnational life. It’s the only way I know how to grasp life as it is now, and not lose it, and I hope and pray I’m able to do it from day to day.

I wish you all a joyous belated Easter, and hope you are all able to live in the time that you are now, to take hold of it and find what it has for you, why you are in it, and how it will give you sight beyond the chronos, into the joy and goodness of the kairos.

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Turn, Turn, Turn

To everything
There is a season
And a time to every purpose
Under heaven

This afternoon was wonderful. Autumn has finally arrived. It’s been a long and interesting summer, full of intriguing twists, fateful meetings, and lingering memories, and I won’t forget it soon; but I’ve grown weary of the stuffy, hot air, and have been longing for a wisp of Autumn wind. I knew when I walked outside today into a chill in the air, that fall had finally come to visit.

I drove from Nashville to Madisonville, KY today, on the way to visit an old friend. It was a meandering drive, a trip through greens slowly fading to hues of crackling ochre and crimson. I’ve become so accustomed to city life that occasionally I forget the gentle loveliness of the countryside all around; it’s an awakening experience to absorb nature in the changing of seasons, especially this one.

I have been awakened to more than just the natural world. Most of the time, I capably and competently manage my life. I’m able to live with a healthy dose of restraint and normality. I’m not used to allowing myself to be opened up and exposed to who I am. Sometimes though, on days like today, all these things that have been building in my mind, and all these desires and longings in my life spill over and and flow out, and I’m suddenly aware of how much I don’t have settled in my life. I’m acutely aware of all the questions desperately bubbling over the brim, those for which, as yet, I have no answer. My calling, and subsequently my vocation; school; my family in ways both past, present and future. Oh family, how I miss you.

This all comes on the cusp of finding out two things. The first is the culmination of a roadtrip I took to Boston in April. It was there that I began the journey, acting upon my desire to pursue music full time in my life, and auditioned at Berklee College of Music. I have found out in very recently that I have been accepted to that institution, a discovery that could potentially turn my life upside down.

The second realization is that just like everything in this country currently, money will be scarce, and I will not receive much financial help to attend the school from the school itself, or from the government. I am in the difficult position of making a decision between the financially safe route, and turning down an opportunity I’ve deeply desired, or taking that opportunity, and risking the very shirt off my back.

This has all come at a time when I find myself questioning who I am, what I am here for, where I am supposed to go; I find myself feeling small and helpless, unable to answer those grandiose questions with even an ounce of certainty. It feels like whatever decision I make will alter my life in massive ways. It’s so tempting to act on fear, especially financially-based fear; I certainly could be justified by common sense.

But God never works through common sense. He always seems to work through the completely unlikely, through dreams and fantasies that couldn’t happen in reality. I’m in the slow process of submitting myself to that craziness, the haphazard trail that God weaves in and out of so many people and places, and somehow, against all odds, seems to work all things together for the good of those who love Him. I’m finding it hard to step forward; I want to see all the steps laid out in front of me.

This is a time in my life where the season is changing; there is something new in the air that wasn’t there before. I’m not sure of what is ahead, but I’m trying, so very hard, to trust in the hand that moves the seasons in time. I’m so used to change, but it still surprises me every time it happens. Here I am, walking into a new season that I cannot surpass. One through which I must walk with hope and expectation. Fill me with hope, I desire hope, I can change, but only if you are there behind me. Turn with me, God.

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Where The Waves Grow Sweet

So I’m in Nashville! I just woke up one morning and found myself here. Strangest thing.

But in all seriousness, It’s a nice town, no doubt about it. I’ve started finding ways to occupy myself, like getting a job, being sociable. I’ve actually been writing and recording some music too (what a surprise, right?). Weird thing, I’m writing more instrumental music than ever before; I’d have thought that I’d see myself writing more vocal/modern/rock kind of music, but I have this real desire to orchestrate, and harmonize, and interweave melodies together.

Anyway, I’d love it if you all went over and indulged me in listening to my music at my music site. There’s two new songs there; the first is called ‘Where The Waves Grow Sweet’. I’m quite excited about it, actually; it’s brand new, written and recorded today. The second is called ‘The Road’. It’s my first foray into orchestration; unfortunately, I don’t have a symphony orchestra at my behest, but I think it still works just fine.

The North Country on Virb.

Cheers everyone!

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Family Day

Every year my family gets together for one day, just the four siblings and our parents. We go up into the mountains to the foot of Pike’s Peak, in Muller State Park, and have a picnic lunch and take tons of pictures. We always end up with a bunch of goofy shots (see above), and the occasional classic family portrait for the Christmas card. It’s a great tradition that helps as a way to look back on the year and see how God has been faithful to all of us together.

I’m documenting some of that day on my photo blog, over at Wings of the Wind. Check it out!

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