An Interlude

The fellow who thinks he knows it all is especially annoying to those of us who do. ~Harold Coffin

Music and Pictures

I love art. I love it like I love people who are close to me. It is my friend. Or rather, my friends, I should say. Music and photography are some of my dearest friends. I don’t spend half enough time with them, but when I do, it exhilarates my soul like nothing else. I am trying deeply to abide by my own words, as written in the post below (road trips and order forms). I think that at least ideologically, I was right. But when it comes right down to it, this job is stifling. I’m surrounded by people all day long; but I feel alone. Art is my only escape from the repetitive, maddening humdrum of work and life. Art is a true and dear old friend.

I’ve spent a lot of time over the past couple days reviving my photo blog, putting up new pictures, old pictures, pictures that make me feel reminiscent and bittersweet. It’s so difficult to carve out time for beauty; I’m so tired all the time. But sometimes beauty requires no work on my part, and some of these photographs are simply me taking note of unadulterated magnificence in life. Sometimes it is nice to be a quiet bystander, and these photos are my reflections and inspirations on life as I see it through the lens. Please don’t hesitate to visit. It’s called Wings Of The Wind.

Music has also been nagging at me recently, like a kid with a question who won’t leave, but keeps tugging on my sleeve. I’ve given in and put up some new material, as well as some rerecorded old material on my virb music page. If perchance you happen to visit the page, please feel free to leave me a comment, snide remark, etc. I, like every self-indulgent artist, enjoy immensely hearing from people who happen upon my work.

I leave you with two thoughts. Always love, because love conquers all; and keep creating and bringing about beauty, everyone. Peace.

I Love Traditional Ballads

Bring me a boat to cross to my dear,
I stand here alone, with my sweetheart so near,
Bring to me a boat to cross o’er the Tyne,
For it’s deep murky waters part her heart and mine.

And the Tyne it flows on and out to the sea,
If a boat I am granted then safe let me be,
And gently I’ll go, for gently I’ll row,
As gently you breathe as you ebb and you flow.

Does she know I stand each day on the shore,
Does she know I’d give all to see her once more,
Does she know I’ve wept ten thousand times o’re,
And is she still waiting as she was before.

Roadtrips and Order Forms

God is good. There is no doubt. Ok, well, I have doubt, but God doesn’t. He’s as steady as I am unstable. And trust me, I’ve been pretty rickety in the past couple weeks.

Road trips are good times to think and to talk. I took an unexpected one on Friday. I was expecting to spend the weekend in rest, after a long and arduous two weeks without a moment’s peace; but a member of my extended family passed away unexpectedly, and a very fast subsequent funeral called me and my family on a 17-hour road trip to Dallas, and back, in about a 48 hour timespan. It is true that I am quite spent currently, and have to make a large effort to make it into the office everyday, but I think the time away was crucial for me.

I think that sitting in my cubicle, staring at a million different forms and documents, memorizing a hundred different acronyms and definitions, I tend to get bogged down, my mind becomes numb. Sometimes it takes big events in life to wake me up. The road trip was such a blessing. On the way down, we listened to Madeleine L’Engle’s ‘A Wrinkle in Time’, a book I have not read in many years. It was a beautiful reminder of the breadth of life. Her writing is so significant to me in a way that many other authors are not; she has become a vicarious best friend. I’ve become so accustomed to an orthodox, small, limited God lately, that I’ve forgotten the wonder of it all, but Mrs. L’Engle is opening my eyes all over again. I love the way she thought; she had such an unbound mind. Sometimes I feel like I truly am a stranger in a strange land. I get so lonely to spend time with my own kind. Sometimes I can do nothing but grudgingly concede the point to the writer of Ecclesiastes that “all is vanity”. I am surprised at how cynical I can become. But Madeleine L’Engle is one of the few people who give me hope for the world, and a sense of expectancy for beauty and goodness to be a regular part of my life someday. Walking in a strange land, she makes me feel closer to home.

The road trip also provided much time to reflect on life, where I am, where I want to go. Much of the trip was across the barren plains of Kansas and Oklahoma, and though I am admittedly not particularly endeared to those landscapes in any permanent way, there was something epic and eye-opening about them. The vast openness of them made me think of God, and how vast He is, how incomprehensible He is. Sometimes, living life in a cubicle makes me envision God in a cubicle; and that is no good thing. Getting out in the middle of the open fields and grasslands somehow broadens my mind. It makes me think that my life is not limited to paper and computer glitches and order forms; but that perhaps God’s plan for me may take me to roads unseen, and lead me out of the tame, tepid world that I am used to now.

It is profoundly difficult for me to wrap my mind around the idea that the same God who is wild and marvelous, is the same God who is teaching me such patience in mundanity, that even though He is unbounded, He shows up in the monotonous, the repetitive things in life. I know I’m a Chesterton nut, but he really did say it the best:

A child kicks its legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough… It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again,” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again,” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike: it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.

It is a difficult paradox for me, that God’s spontaniety is oftentimes most realized through what we might think is mere tedium. It’s effects are profound. If God can truly be creative in the monotony of my life, then it means that to try and precede His will by presumptuously jumping ahead would be to miss the beauty He has created right in front of me, and exchange it for a temporal and unsatisfying high. It is difficult for me, and yet reiterates what I know to be true, that God is found not only in what makes us happy, but also that which makes us grow and mature and change. God occasionally gives road trips to us so that we can learn to be satisfied with what He provided for us.

Of course I will always hope for exhilarating experience and rapturous moments of true beauty and happiness. I hope that I am once again able to live the life of the artist. I personally love spontaniety. But God is teaching me to profoundly understand that life, through beautiful monotony. I can and will choose to love what He has placed before me, be it sweet or bitter. I will go tomorrow to my cubicle, and work on my order forms and memorize more abbreviations; but maybe I’ll also bring a bit of beauty with me, and create joy where I go. It’s amazing how starkly remarkable beauty appears in the midst of the grey. God is good. In Him there is no doubt, even if I do doubt. Thank goodness for that.

“Fill your boots, man!”

This is probably the funniest thing I’ve heard in months. It would ruin it for you to try and explain it, so I’ll just let listen to it at your leisure.

Compassion

Hi everyone! I thought I’d put a little interlude in here. I know that part two of my 2007 favorites is due, but I thought I’d take some time out to talk a little about a new development in my life, and one that has the potential to include many other people, depending on whether or not they feel led to participate.

A couple weeks ago, I got a call to come in and interview at Compassion International for a job. It was not unexpected, but it was a surprise, as it had been some time since I’d submitted an application, and I’d all but given up on hearing back from them. However, like any good, entrepreneurial individual, I went in and interviewed with Compassion. It was a great start, and two weeks down the road, I find myself working for an amazing company and ministry.

In many ways, I’m your typical marketing temp. I take calls, I work up contacts and try to make deals. I help facilitate already existing business relationships; I certainly have a product to sell. But unlike working for a cell phone company, an insurance agency, or any number of businesses that deal with inanimate objects meant to bring consumer pleasure, the product I am promoting is a living, breathing human being, and the stakes are far higher than customer satisfaction. When I try to convince you of what I am promoting, it is because I believe it is too high a price to pay to ignore, if people don’t buy it.

In many of the countries that host the sponsor children of Compassion, major populations live under the poverty level. Many of the countries are deeply affected by HIV, and other transmittable diseases that are widespread and in epidemic levels. In South America, many large populations are crammed into small spaces, with developing governments unable to quell urban violence, or support the millions of impoverished living in city slums. In Africa, lack of hygene education, as well as basic necessities like clean running water, are destroying communities to the point that disease has become epidemic. To add to the problem, many countries such as Sudan and Kenya are dealing with local conflict, and in certain regions, genocide, uncontrolled by the government. There are some reports that have alleged over 30,000 child deaths a day in Africa alone, from starvation and dehydration, as well as widespread disease.

These statistics are grave, but I’m not reporting them here to make people feel a tinge of guilt. It’s more that having spent time within the ministry, and being in the environment where I hear about these nameless children, I have begun to feel a conviction on my heart, a pulling to play a part in changing the cycle of grief and struggle for these countries, and the children involved. I want to give the nameless a name.

And that is what Compassion does. It’s mission is simple (taken from the compassion site):

Compassion International exists as a Christian child advocacy ministry that releases children from spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty and enables them to become responsible, fulfilled Christian adults.

The need is great, and no single ministry or organization can fix the problem. But collectively, many people will change the direction of these countries. For Compassion International, their heart is for the children, and the difference an investment will make in the lives of the next generation in each collective country. The children involved will be the driving force of the future of each of these countries, and we all have the opportunity to invest toward change and hope.

Logistically, Compassion brings hope to the lives of these children through personal sponsorship of individuals willing to invest $32 a month into the life of a child. But because Compassion is a Christian ministry, it also believes that change is dependent on more than just financial support, and it asks for, and gives the opportunity for, personal and spiritual change in the life of the sponsored child as well. A sponsor will have the opportunity to correspond with their sponsor child, and to encourage them and pray for them. Many sponsors will watch their sponsor child grow up from a young kid to a young adult, and see the change first-hand. Some sponsors will actually visit their sponsor child in the country of origin. Many have found it to be a life-changing experience to see first-hand the challenges that their child faces, as well as the opportunities for growth that they have opened up for their sponsor child through their commitment.

Compassion is one of the best-rated charities in the United States, and takes financial stewardship extremely seriously. Predominately, financial income goes straight to the field to support the mission locations and individual children, with only a small percentage going to administration (with many charities, the opposite is true). All the financial information is available to view here.

Compassion is a sincere and dedicated Christian ministry that I find myself honored and privileged to be a part of for this time. If any of this has sparked your interest, please don’t hesitate to leave comments and questions; you can also visit the Compassion International website here.

As a side note, the project I am working towards is called Compassion Sunday. It is an event where hundreds of churches all over the nation will give a special focus to Compassion’s work, and to the issues of poverty, disease and conflict in developing nations around the world. Compassion relies on the help of regular church members to promote child sponsorship in their churches, at any level. If you’re interested, please contact me, and I’ll get you all the appropriate information.

Thanks for bearing with me and indulging me in my soapbox. I assure you, it’s a soapbox that you won’t regret giving a moment to.

Anyway, best to all of you, and happy Martin Luther King Jr. day, a man also dedicated to freeing people from the challenges facing his generation. Let’s do the same in the spirit with which he changed the world.

New Song

Well, it’s about that time again. I’ve been away from the studio far too much lately for my own good, all with a new job, and school complications in between; however, I’ve been able to squeeze a new scratch track in. Just finished tonight. Basically, “scratch track” means I recorded one take of vocals and one take of piano, and put it up on the web. I’d be thrilled if all of you’d take a listen and let me know what you think!

Joel Clarkson on Virb

It’s called, ‘Are You Coming in the Morning’, and if I set it up right, it ought to be the first song on the list.

Peace.

The More Things Change…

Well, here I am again, looking back over this past year, and realizing that my blog post frequency average has grown incrementally smaller over this past 365 days. It’s really less reflective of desire, or lack thereof, to continue blogging, than it is a sign as to the turbulent and dynamic year this has been for me. I’ve been to two different continents and countries, traveled to (or through) twelve different states, and lived in three different locations across the course of the year. I’ve changed my college major (and my college), and am slowly moving toward a possible new move in the future. Thankfully, I’ve had my wonderful family to be firm and unmoving in the midst of it all, especially my wonderful traveling partner (and most importantly, sister), The Itinerant Idealist. Overall, I’m in much the same position right now as I was one year ago. I’m still trying to figure out what to do with my life, still living in Colorado working a small job with no college degree yet; and yet, I feel that I as a person have grown immensely in my values and ideals.

I’ve ideologically re-embraced home and family, and I love that I have such a wonderful community around me at this point in my life. I feel the calling of God upon my life greater than ever before, even if I’ve not yet stepped fully into that calling. And I’ve grown to understand God Himself more fully. It hasn’t always been easy; as a matter of fact, I think the key word for this last year for me would be ’struggle’ (perhaps that applies to multiple years in the past!); but when you think about it, Jacob struggled with God, and God blessed Him with being the namesake of the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people, which coincidentally means, “those who struggle”. I’ve struggled with God quite a few times this past year, and God’s taken it all with beautiful aplomb. More than that, He allowed me to work out my difficulties and frustrations, and was there to help me back on my feet at the end of it. I’ve been feeling a peace about life and my relationship with God in a way that I haven’t for a long time. If life’s a journey, then the important parts are the landmarks along the way; this year has been a year of landmarks for me. Not happy, fun memories, but strong towers that will be burned in my mind as turning points for me in my ideology about life, community and God. I am immensely thankful for the struggle. It’s made me stronger and more resolute about my life. I can’t wait for this next year. I expect great things.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I thought I’d take notes from the illustrious Opus, and do my ‘Best music of 2007 mix’. It’s a variation of music that I have discovered over this year, and have come to love. This is not music that I think deserves critical acclaim necessarily. Nor is it music that was necessarily released this year. It is simply the music that I personally discovered, and grew to love. I’m a bit of a sentimentalist, which means I’ll probably never make a good objective reviewer. Because I live for the aesthetic, everything in my life has a specific soundtrack or mix to it. Many of these songs I associate with an emotion, or life experience. Some have helped me to grow, some have supported me in times of frustration or doubt. Some are just plain fun tunes. I hope that you too will enjoy the list, and perhaps even be propelled to invest time in the albums behind the songs.

Without further ado, here is the first of two installations of my 2007 year end favorites mix.

1. Final Fantasy-’The Arctic Circle’, from the album, He Poos Clouds*

Lush strings and astonishingly layered melodies, this song is characteristic of the sound that Owen Pallet, the brains behind Final Fantasy, produces. His abstract, occasionally bizare lyricism lies only as a backdrop to the flowing and emotional harmonies and soundscapes. A fabulous experience.

2. Andrew Bird-’Imitosis’, from the album, Armchair Apocrypha

This quirky song is all about the unusual relationship between hard, cold science, and the strange phenomena that occurs in the midst of knowledge and scientific fact. Though I may not agree with his conclusions, Bird has created a remarkably clever lyrical proposal of his thesis. He supports his proposition with staccato strings and intriguing pop sensibilites that all but draw the listener in to his fatalistic conclusions. A riveting listen. Proceed with caution.

3. Beirut-’Nantes’, from the album, The Flying Club Cup

This list contains many young musical prodigies, forging new musical paths into the future. At 21, Zach Condon is certainly a prodigy, but rather than looking to the future, he finds his inspiration in the past. For this song, and indeed for the whole album, Condon reaches back to the roaring 20’s and 30’s for lovely sun-lit beaches and mansion lawns, with soft, unassuming music drifting through the warm air. This album is so wonderfully nostalgic, it’s like a story in of itself. Definitely buy the song, but consider the whole album; it’s quite enchanting. You’ll forget all about the 21st century, and find yourself punting down a small stream with friends on a beautiful sunny day, many decades ago.

4. The Guggenheim Grotto-’Philosophia’, from the album, Waltzing Alone*

The first band on the list, The Guggenheim Grotto, produce soft, affecting folk songs. Probably not the perfect endorsement, but take into consideration that their music is in the tradition of Leonard Cohen and their tour mate, Damien Rice. In this song, they make a compelling case for great art; but instead of an open-ended, abstract plea for anything created, they argue for art that ascribes to a standard other than “taste”. Whether you agree with that conclusion or not, I think you’ll find that they weave their musing through lush harmonies and enticing rhythm. A fascinating start for a fascinating band.

5. Crepusculum-’Open Gates’, from the album, Sky Diaries-EP

Another gifted (young) musician, Crepusculum is the cover name for Fred Beaty, an artist out of London, who creates lush, instrumental harmonies with guitar and keyboard. The songs are deceivingly understated, as the guitar-work is quite complex and challenging. This song is a layered soundscape that is both alluring, and at the same time unassuming. This is the kind of song I’d enjoy listening to while reading a book on the porch, in the summertime, and simply drifting away. Very charming. You can download the whole album for free here.

6. Andy Davis-’Chicago, City of Shoulders’, from the album, Fine China-EP

Andy Davis is an artist with no pretense. He simply writes about his reflections on life, love and struggle. His music is charming, while at the same time modest in it’s scope. He’s one of the criminally-neglected few who can write a great pop/folk song without sweating a drop over it. This song is no exception; a pragmatic, optimistic song about simple love, longing and hope, for a guy in Chicago. I gotta say, I’m a sucker for name-dropping of geographical locations. It sounds so cool. Definitely a must.

7. Midlake-’Roscoe (Acoustic)’, from the album, Oak and Julian-EP

All Midlake songs tell a story, at the very least, indirectly. Roscoe is definitely a story of some means, though the lyricism does obscure that story considerably. I think Midlake enjoys giving impressions of events and unfolding drama; the music certainly helps to induce emotion from the listener. Usually, Midlake produces a smooth pop sound reminiscent of the best of the 70’s; however, for this alternate version of ‘Roscoe’, they paint a haunting picture with soft piano and guitar weeping in the background. Their harmonies add to the spookiness of it all. Be prepared for a deliciously mysterious experience.

8. Sigur Ros-’Ba Ba’, from the album, BA BA TI KI DI DO-EP

Sigur Ros, the native sons of Iceland, produced this enigmatic ep several years ago, but the music is as fresh and lingering as it was then. As much as I love Sigur Ros’ bombastic, far-reaching anthems, there is something persistent about their softer, less noticed instrumentals, that oftentimes stays with me far longer than the popular singles. ‘Ba Ba’ casts a beautiful and mysterious aura that is both affecting and intriguing at the same time. A great addition from a remarkable band.

9. The National-’Start a War’, from the album, Boxer*

The National, an unlikely band with a less-than-overwhelming vocalist, created an interesting look at the nitty-gritty of life, past and present, through a number of story songs on Boxer. ‘Start a War’ is perhaps my favorite from that album. It is both hopeful, and yet holds back; it holds to the threadbare strings of promise, while at times it subconsciously admits it’s own limitations and failures. The bittersweet guitar in the background provides the perfect backdrop for the singer’s plea. A wonderful exposé on life and struggle.

Alrighty. This concludes part one of my 2007 year end favorites mix. I do hope you’ll tune in next time for the next installment. Cheers.

Oh, and if you have your own year end mix, please feel free to post it below. Share the love!

*Note: Though almost all of the songs av are clean and non-problematic, some of the albums to which they belong do not fall in that category. Occasionally one of the albums above will contain naughty language, and some even strong language. If you would like to find more specifics as you sift through what you will listen to, please post a comment, and I will reply promptly.

This and That

Hi all. Look, here I am, yet again committing to restarting my blog. It seems that this poor blog more often reflects wretched neglect than inspired musings; and yet it is alive. I swear I can still hear a heartbeat somewhere deep down inside. Well, I don’t have anything immensely profound to say today, just thought I owed it to myself, all of you, and my poor dejected blog a new post of some means.

So here we are! Several pieces of pure fun. First, if you haven’t already heard, I’m in the studio again (one of the prime reasons for my absence here). I’m on a recording roll, and you can see the fruit of my labor over at my virb website. I’d really like to actually record a whole project, but I’m working up the courage for believing in the adequacy of my work.

But hey, I shouldn’t get so friendly with my ego, cause there are a lot of other people out there doing some fine artistic work as well. Take, for example, the illustrious Foolish Knight, who, as of late, has been filming a miniseries with friends and cohorts, entitled, ‘Knights’. Rather than spoil all the fun and tell you the plot, I’ll leave it up to you to go and enjoy the fine handiwork of the good Knight and his friends.

Also bringing about beauty and joy to the world through written word is my dear sister, the Itinerant Idealist. She has been waxing eloquent as of late, about autumn, and reflecting on November. I’d love it if you all enriched yourselves with a bit of exquisite tranquility and awe by reading this post (and any other post on the blog. They’re all golden, you can’t go wrong).

And stepping even further into the great, wide world, there’s another group of artists that have been vying for my attention quite often as of late. The ensemble to which I refer is the Icelandic band Amiina (yes, that’s two “i’s”). Amiina (like much of what comes out of Iceland musically) is all about atmosphere, tonality, and strange and wonderful instruments conglomerated for your audible pleasure. Like their touring mates, Sigur Ros, Amiina creates beautiful and intricate instrumental music, though (also in similar fashion to the aforementioned band) fleeting ethereal harmonies float in, and occasionally above, many of the songs. Amiina makes use of instruments strange and foreign to westernized ears, such as glass harps and musical saws. However, the outcome is breathtakingly stunning melodies and rhythms that will haunt your ears for days. It is similar to much of Sigur Ros and other Icelandic post-rock bands have produced; epic, atmospheric, anthems. However, while maintaining the aura of that genre, Amiina might be what you would call an “unplugged” variety; within post-rock, it is the folk variation, as opposed to the rock that so dominates the popular scene. It is for this reason alone that Amiina will probably not receive much attention; they’re too gentle and subtle to be noticed by most of the popular music crowd, and most will ironically step right over them to enjoy the very band that brought Amiina to the limelight in the first place (Sigur Ros). However, for those of us who happened to notice this band, we know what a beautiful secret we have. For reference, Kurr is a good place to start.

Ok. That’s a wrap. Leave me some comments if it catches your fancy. Catch ya later.

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, there was a boy who wanted to go to college. He very much enjoyed learning and meeting new people. He wanted to be an english major. So one day, the boy went off to college, to see what he could see, and learn what he could learn. He met many nice people. He learned many interesting things. One of these things was that the boy was not an English major after all. When he found out that he wasn’t an english major, he wanted to leave the college, and sing and make music instead. So the boy left college just in time, and went home to make music. He lived happily ever after singing and making music. The end.

This is a true story. The unabridged version of the story, for those of you with longer attention spans, is posted below, as it was originally on Facebook:

~~~

Well, as many of you know, I’ve just arrived back in Seattle to attend SPU, and it’s been an eventful week. I’d rather get straight to the point, and then I’ll elaborate. So the news is that I’m dropping out of the quarter.

Sometimes there are those moments in life where you have to experience first-hand something to realize that it was a mistake. And I think for me, I have realized that coming back to SPU was a mistake. This is not to say that SPU or anyone involved was the mistake. I wholeheartedly still support and defend SPU as an incredible institution with absolutely stellar people. No, the mistake was in myself, in my academic choice. I thought I was an english major. Writing is in the family (both of my parents are published authors), and I enjoy doing it, so I thought that it would make a good choice in college. However, the reason I chose English as my major was because music, my greatest passion, was unattainable to me through normal college means (I’m not classically educated, nor do I want to work in classical music). So I put music on the top shelf and decided to just do English instead.

However, this past week has been reawakening in me a desire to really follow what I think is a passion that God has put on my heart, namely music. And to stay at SPU without a real contentedness in my heart about obtaining a degree would be a shaky choice at best, especially at the cost of time and finances involved.

So, I’m going to step back, and try to earn my Associates degree through inexpensive credits. And then I’ll start looking into several modern music programs. I guess we’ll see what God does.

For all of you at SPU, know that I will miss the wonderful community I have found here, and will always hold a spot in my heart for this school. I will be leaving abruptly, as the deadline for dropping out was a couple days ago, and I have to be out by tomorrow. If I see you, wonderful. If not, send me a message or call me! We’ll talk. And don’t worry; I’ve made too many friends and come to love Seattle and SPU far too much to stay away for too long; I’ll be visiting as often as possible.

So I guess that’s the wrap! I wish you all the best quarter yet, and I wish everyone who reads this true happiness where they are, and where they are going in following their calling.

Peace and hope,

Joel

~~~

So let me know what you all think! The cat’s out of the bag. I guess it’s an adventure here on out!